Irrational Crush

I’m not a gadget guy. I have a severe Luddite streak that makes me skeptical of many consumer goods that have a limited purpose or in some cases seem to be altogether unnecessary. It’s not that I’m anti-technology…there are many modern inventions (contact lenses, air conditioning, computers) that I consider to be indispensable parts of my daily life. What I’m talking about are those items that are designed not to fill a genuine need or solve a problem, but rather exist solely to separate a potential buyer from his or her money for dubious reasons. If you’ve ever flipped through a Brookstone or Sharper Image catalog, you know what I’m talking about.

However, I’m not totally immune to the “Gee whiz!” syndrome, and occasionally find myself yearning for a doodad that 98% of the world doesn’t need, but is considered vital for the other 2%.

Like a manual ice crusher.

When I began investigating how to make decent drinks, I noticed many recipes that called for crushed ice (Fellow tiki drink fans know what I’m talking about). I had readily available cubes, but crushed ice was a bit more elusive. After the usual poking around, I discovered at least 3 options:

1) Blender method: I own a blender that has a “crush ice” setting, and I thought this might be the answer…but it was pretty disappointing. My initial excitement quickly faded when I realized that on this setting the blades practically atomized the ice in the lower third of the blender while leaving the cubes at the top untouched. Bleh. On to option #2.

2) Wrap-in-cloth-and-whack-with-something method: This yielded better results than the blender, but was still far from ideal. I used several different cloths, and several different whackers, but things always turned out the same: The ice was irregularly crushed, and much of it remained stuck to the cloth. Also, the process is loud as hell, and scared the bejeezus out of my cats.

3) Manual ice crusher method: A revelation. If you don't have one, get one as soon as possible.

Here’s the deal. Fancy-schmancy kitchenware stores sell new ones for as much as fifty bucks. My advice is to hit up garage sales, thrift stores, flea markets or online auction sites for old ones. The one I have came courtesy of my father who found it at a flea market for five bucks. It’s at least 30 years old, built like a tank, and will easily fit in your liquor cabinet. And it was one of FIVE he spotted in a single afternoon, so they definitely can be found in the wild.

It’s also a great example of simplicity and elegance in design. Dump ice cubes in the top, turn the hand crank, and collect your crushed ice in the bottom. The whole process takes mere seconds. If you’re finicky about the texture, you can turn the handle one direction for coarse, and the other way for fine. And if you fill it entirely, it makes exactly enough ice to fill a double old-fashioned glass. My Mai Tais are now complete.

Did I mention the utterly gratifying tactile sensation of cranking the handle to grind your ice into a cocktail-ready consistency? This thing makes you EARN your drink, and no one who observes you operating it will doubt your commitment.

So yes, I do own a gadget. And its sole purpose is to make big pieces of ice into smaller pieces of ice. But us two-percenters are okay with that.

Mixology Monday: Gin

Del Coronado

1/2 oz. unsweetened pineapple juice
1/2 oz. passion fruit syrup
2 1/2 oz. orange juice
3/4 oz. fresh lemon juice
1/4 oz. fresh lime juice
1/2 oz. papaya nectar
1 oz. gin
1 oz. dark Jamaican rum

Shake well with ice cubes and pour into tall glass.

When I saw that this month’s MxMo theme was gin, I almost collapsed under the combined weight of options and excitement. Gin is my favorite spirit, and I didn’t even know where to begin. There is a phenomenon known as “choice overload” and I was clearly experiencing it.

But help was on the way. By pure happenstance, this past weekend I had the good fortune to play bartender to three women who, in addition to being a hell of a lot of fun, also enjoy a good drink. And like myself, these gals appreciate gin.

Slowly, ideas began to coalesce. I needed a MxMo entry…and also had the opportunity to serve several drinks (many including gin) to fellow enthusiasts…surely something concrete would materialize and form the nucleus of my entry. Best not to overthink or try to engineer it- I was going to let the drinks appear and see where things went. I don’t know if it could properly be called Zen, but it was in the ballpark.

My approach was to simply offer up a fairly wide-ranging menu of drinks and see what the proceedings yielded. The plan was no-plan, allowing the evening to set it’s own agenda. Knowing my crowd was partial to gin, it was a safe bet at least one gin-based recipe would be selected and perhaps become the basis for my post...but the main question was: Would things develop into a bare-knuckle gin drink showdown with recipes, brands, and styles subjected to rigorous scrutiny? Or would we casually meander through the offerings, perhaps ending up with nothing more than a pleasant ramble through a pile of drinks?

As it turns out, it was a little bit of both. The drinks chosen fell into two rough groups: tiki and gin-based. On the tiki side, Mai Tais and Zombies showed up. On the gin side, Pimm’s cups and Corpse Reviver #2’s made the cut.

All were enjoyed to varying degrees, and during the aftermath, I thought, “Well, since the drinks everyone seemed to go for either involved gin or were tiki-style, why don’t I look for a recipe that somehow combines both?”

Turning to my dependable Beachbum Berry tomes Grog Log and Intoxica! (Shamefully, I haven’t yet picked up Sippin’ Safari…feel free to heap abuse on me at your leisure), I eventually settled upon the Del Coronado (Aside from containing gin, I think the other reason I chose it was the challenge of finding papaya nectar...thrill of the hunt and all that).

Anyway, the Del Coronado is fruity. 6 of the 8 ingredients are fruit-based, and it really shows in the overall taste. The orange jumps out front, forming the main flavor, with the passion fruit close behind. The pineapple, lemon, and lime are less noticeable, meshing together into an somewhat indistinct fruit blend, with the papaya doing a bit of drive-by tartness. Lastly, the rum reveals itself on the finish, giving a quick wave to remind you that there was actually some grown-up stuff amidst the juice…kind of like finding a tarantula lurking around in your fruit basket.

But what about the gin? In this drink the gin plays a supporting but crucial role. You don’t notice it’s flavor so much as it’s feel. This is a drink that is thick with flavors, and rather than compete with them, the gin snakes it’s way around the edges, sharpening things up and keeping it the other ingredients from bogging each other down.

Maybe it’d be easier (or at least more fun) to say it this way: If the Del Coronado was a piece of clothing, it’d be a Hawaiian shirt with a great floral print (the juices), real coconut-shell buttons (the rum) and silver thread (the gin) stitching it all together.

Sound weird? Have a couple Del Coronados and maybe it’ll make sense. Call it “gin Zen.”

If a metaphor falls in the forest…

Mixology Monday: Pairings

Martini

3 oz. Gin
1/8 oz. Dry Vermouth

Shake with plenty of ice and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with olive.


Celery & Stilton Soup

1 head celery, chopped
1 medium-sized yellow onion, chopped
3 tablespoons butter
3-¾ cups vegetable or chicken stock
2 egg yolks
2/3 cup half-and-half
1 cup crumbled Blue Stilton cheese (but I use at least twice this much)
salt and pepper to taste

Melt butter in a large soup pot. Gently cook celery and onion in butter until tender. Add stock and bring to a boil. Simmer 20 minutes. While soup is simmering, mix egg yolks and half-and-half in a small bowl. Stir in egg/half-and-half mixture. Crumble cheese and stir in gradually. When cheese is melted, use an immersion blender to mix everything into a smooth consistency. (If you don’t have an immersion blender, wait until the soup cools, transfer to a regular blender for mixing, then re-heat).

Adapted from The Book of Soups by Lorna Rhodes

Notes on the Martini:

There’s enough info out there on the Martini and it’s various incarnations to choke a rhino, so I’ll save my crackpot ramblings on that subject for another time. For now, I’ll just say I like mine very dry, shaken, and with an olive.

And use gin. Please.

Notes on the soup:

This soup is ridiculously easy to make, and falls squarely within the “dump & stir” category (Since I usually enjoy an adult beverage when I cook, this category is my current favorite).

It’s been my experience that those who enjoy this soup are big fans of strongly flavored cheese, so I really don’t measure the amount of Stilton I add. I usually just double the recipe, buy one of those big wedges of Stilton and throw that in. It’s a very flexible recipe…just adjust the ratio of celery to Stilton however you like.

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For this month's MxMo hosted by the lovely and talented Natalie over at The Liquid Muse, I quickly realized what the food half of the theme would be. The Bamboo Babe and I have a very good friend who has declared this soup a mandatory menu item whenever we all get together. Consequently, when we make the drive to her place, the first item in the car is my 16-quart soup pot.

In addition to being a long-time food industry professional, our pal is also well underway to becoming a certified sommelier, which makes her a deadly double-threat on the food & drink front. Needless to say, whenever we find ourselves at her place, the proceedings rapidly shift into a decadent frenzy of food and wine (often before I have the key completely out of the ignition).

A quick note about the wine and where it lives- Her collection is housed in a built-in climate-controlled setup in her basement. But calling it merely a “basement” would be doing it a disservice. The lower floor of her house is a full-tilt, utterly tricked-out bachelorette pad with wet bar, insanely comfortable seating, flat-screen TV and the aforementioned wine stash. Imagine if Batman was female, and she replaced all the crime computers and lab equipment in the Batcave with state-of-the art entertainment goodies and you get the idea. The only flaw is that you have to take stairs to get to it...no Bat-poles yet.

Anyway, when we’re not demolishing her wine stash like grape-crazed locusts, we’re usually indulging in the occasional cocktail. This is how we discovered that a bowl of celery & Stilton soup goes really well with a bowl of loudmouth soup.

I won’t even attempt to break down the how’s and why’s of the pairing - I’d probably botch it. All I can say is that through sheer happenstance we tripped across a great combo. The afternoon I whipped up a pot of the soup we were having Martinis all around and soon discovered a little Stilton with your See-through is not a bad thing at all. Give it a shot- preferably with several of your friends.

Oh, and if the soup isn’t enough to satisfy your cheese jones, get some decent olives, remove the pits, and replace them with some Stilton. Then sterilize them in your Martini before consuming. (For extra fun, wait until everyone has had a couple of Martinis, then start passing around the olive pitter).


(Epilogue: Mere days after the visit, our host mentioned in passing that the surface of her brand-new ceramic-top stove had developed a huge crack, rendering it unusable. I suggested that perhaps a witless houseguest exceeded the safe performance envelope by using it to put a 16-quart vat of soup on the boil. Gracious as always, our host strongly assured me that the demise of the stove had absolutely nothing to do with my antics in her kitchen.

I just think she’s afraid I won’t make the soup again.

Mixology Monday: Fizz

Colonel Beach's Plantation Punch

1 oz. fresh lime juice
2 oz. unsweetened pineapple juice
1/2 oz. falernum
2 oz. ginger beer
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1/8 teaspoon Pernod
2 oz. dark Jamaican rum
1 oz. gold Puerto Rican rum
1/2 oz. Barbados rum

Shake with one cup crushed ice. Pour into tall glass with 3 or 4 ice cubes. Garnish with pineapple chunk and sprig of mint.

Baby Bamboo wasn’t the only thing to arrive last month. I also received a second bundle of joy- the bottle of falernum I finally got around to ordering. Unlike those industrious souls out there making their own falernum from scratch (My hat‘s off to you, you magnificent, fearless bottle-jockeys), I relied on the Fee Bros. this time around.

The arrival of the falernum sent me straight in one direction…right toward the Beachbum Berry books. I also figured I could find a recipe that would satisfy the “fizz” requirement for this month’s MxMo, and after some vigorous page-flipping I found it: Colonel Beach’s Plantation Punch, courtesy of Don the Beachcomber.

CBPP contains not only the falernum I’d been dying to try, but also ginger beer, which brings the fizz. Most importantly, It‘s a tiki drink, and I’d been meaning to put one of those through it’s paces since I started this whole enterprise.

After getting everything into (and out of) the shaker, the drink settled into the glass with a translucent, dusky amber color, topped by a frothy head that remains well after the pour. The rums & juices combine in an aroma that is unmistakably tiki, but it won’t knock you over with a boozy updraft…you have to move in and chase it.

After several sips I was pleased to find that the various flavors stand up well against each other. Many times I’ve had tiki-style drinks where the ingredients end up as an indistinct stew of citrus, rums, and sweeteners, often in lopsided proportions. By contrast, CBPP is a very evenly-flavored (some would perhaps say flat) tasting concoction.

Despite the evenness, the pineapple and Pernod still seem to pop a bit. They really complement the dryness of the rums, and the Pernod in particular is noticeable despite how little the recipe calls for. The ginger beer however, is almost nonexistent- the flavor isn’t evident, but rather the warm tingle of the ginger hangs in the background, assuming more of a texture than a taste (Although I’m guessing this can vary depending on the brand used).

Overall, I liked it. It’s not terribly distinctive, but it is pleasant, and a great example of a tiki-style drink. As I finished it, I couldn’t help notice its resemblance to another of Don the Beachcomber’s drinks: the Zombie. There are several similar ingredients (including 3 rums), and even the garnish is basically the same. The falernum taking the place of the passion fruit syrup is a departure, but the formula remains essentially intact.

Now I’m not bashing the Beachcomber by implying he merely dusted off an established recipe and made a few tweaks…but how’s this for an analogy? Ever met two siblings where the older one is brash and extroverted, and the younger one is quiet and charms all the older relatives with his mature reserve and politeness? The Zombie is the former and CBPP is the latter.

They’re both good kids. Spend time with each of ’em.

Mixology Monday: Orange

Blue Monday Cocktail

1 1/2 oz. Vodka
3/4 oz. Triple Sec
1 Dash Blue Food Coloring

Baby Bamboo* arrived last Wednesday.

Back in February when I started this blog, I wondered if the Bamboo Babe** being pregnant would affect the frequency and quality of my posts. The answer was yes. In retrospect, starting a booze blog when your wife is expecting is probably not the wisest move considering that most of your free time is spent shopping for baby stuff, going to classes, visiting doctors and renovating half your house. Plus, there's the whole "driving to the hospital at a moment's notice" thing.

It also really affects your ability to participate in MxMo when your baby shows up 5 days before the deadline. When I checked the calendar I realized I probably wasn’t going to be feeling Springtime fresh by the time Monday rolled around.

However, I like to give things the ol’ college try. Mixology Monday beckons, and I must heed it’s call.

But don’t assume the demands of new fatherhood didn’t take their toll. Through blurry, sleep-deprived eyes, I re-checked this month’s theme, and my convoluted thought process went something like this:

“Okay, I need a recipe that doesn’t have too many ingredients…and simple preparation…and I can’t get carried away with the artwork either…Let’s see…MxMo takes place on Monday…and hey, the MxMo icon has blue in it…and oh, here’s a drink called the Blue Monday…and it calls for Triple Sec…which meets the orange criteria…and I think I’ve got some decent vodka lying around…and the recipe comes from this old Mr. Boston book my father gave me…and I‘m a father now…so there‘s like, some sort of cosmic parallel happening here…”

You see, in addition to the specified ingredient (orange) I was working with a secret ingredient (lack of sleep).

Having spent Wednesday morning through Saturday afternoon at the hospital, I realized anything I submitted this month was destined to be quick and dirty. There would be no last-minute runs to the liquor store or elaborate rituals involving garnishes. Cars and cutlery were not my allies at the moment.

So what about the drink? Well, it tastes like vodka and triple sec. More accurately, it tastes like really strong triple sec. As I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, this isn’t a recipe that’s going to bowl you over with depth or complexity. But I’ve certainly had worse drinks, and if you like vodka and/or triple sec, you’ll probably like it.

And did I mention it’s a really pretty blue color…and the MxMo icon has blue in it…and zzzzzzzzzzzz…



*Credit goes to Natalie at The Liquid Muse for coming up with the name “Baby Bamboo.”

** I came up with this one. I like consistency.

Go Green!

Leatherneck Cocktail

2 oz. blended whiskey
3.4 oz. blue Curacao
1/2 oz. fresh lime juice

Shake in an iced cocktail shaker and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wheel.


The Green Man

1 measure Irish whiskey
1/2 measure blue Curacao
1 measure fresh lemon juice
1 dash egg white

Shake all ingredients with a little ice until well frosted. Pour into a medium-sized tumbler or glass and fill up with more ice.


I normally stick to one recipe at a time, but on this outing I'm compelled to do a two-fer. I was paging through Alex Barker's 1001 Cocktails and a drink called the Green Man caught my eye. The list of ingredients looked familiar, and I was wondering...hadn't I seen this drink masquerading somewhere else under a different name?

Almost. I realized it bore a decent resemblance to the Leatherneck Cocktail from Ted Haigh's Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails. This obviously left me with only one course of action: try 'em both in an old-fashioned taste test!

Up first was the Leatherneck. The first thing I noticed was the spiffy green-with-a-bit-of-blue color. This is a drink that would not look out of place being sipped by someone/something on an episode of Star Trek.

The whiskey (I used Canadian Club) definitely takes a back seat to the lime & Curacao. Despite this, the flavor still comes through somewhat, and using the blended stuff here is a good move- the milder tone of blended whiskey meshes better with the other two ingredients. Something like Bourbon or rye would be a bit too sharp here.

Also, the Leatherneck has an almost "proto-tiki" taste but still retains a classic cocktail character. A festive quality is grounded in whiskey warmth, resulting in a great interplay between the fruit flavors and the base spirit. Its got a short ingredient list and simple preparation, but it's flirting with a tropical vibe. The best of both worlds in many ways.

The Green Man also pours a nearly identical blue-green color. The egg white adds the barest touch of froth, but if you don't have any chicken fruit handy, don't worry...it won't be missed.

The whiskey (in this case Jameson's) is nearly undetectable. The other ingredients eclipse it, with the lemon ending up the dominant flavor...I'd reduce the amount of lemon juice a bit to balance things out a bit more. However, left as it is, this would be a good recipe for someone who doesn't like their drinks to come on too strong.

Overall, it's a matter of personal preference. I'd recommend the Green Man for anyone who likes their drinks on the citrusy side and not too boozy. That being said, it comes off a little lackluster when compared to the Leatherneck, which definitely has more depth. But I suggest trying them both for yourself.

And while you're at it, rent one of those great 50's sci-fi flicks where our men in uniform go toe-to-toe with the flying saucer jockeys. How can you say no to that kind of symmetry?

Mixology Monday: Blog Love

Dr. Bamboo, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Blog

For this month's MxMo my intent was to try a recipe I found over at Intoxicated Zodiac that called for gin, lime juice, simple syrup, and rose water. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to lay my hands on any rose water (not being able to locate a key ingredient is a recurring motif in my adventures).

However, I still had an ample supply of gin and limes. That, combined with Paul’s invitation to do a bit of navel-gazing on the nature of booze-blogging got me going in a whole new direction. Serendipity ahoy!

As I looked at that proud, clear bottle I began thinking about gin…which got me thinking about the Gin & Tonic…which made me realize if it weren’t for the Gin & Tonic, I may not have arrived at the point where I spend many an evening and weekend hunched over the kitchen counter, poring through drink recipes and feeling compelled to toss my findings out here on the web. To put it simply, the Gin & Tonic was the was the first drink I took seriously. (But if you want to see two people who really take the Gin & Tonic seriously, check out these recent posts over at Jimmy's Cocktail Hour and The Art of Drink).

My first brush with gin was not long after I graduated from college. A friend asked me if I’d ever had a Gin & Tonic, and when I’d said no (my only forays into hard liquor had been rum and bourbon), he ordered me one from the bar. I remember liking it immediately, and for the next several years the Gin & Tonic was my drink of choice. (This would change when I encountered my first Martini, but that’s a story for another post).

Gin was a mystery to me. No one I knew drank it. All my friends were devotees of the Brown Stuff (the aforementioned rum & bourbon, almost always dumped haphazardly into a large plastic cup of Coke) and of course vodka, which was a staple for any college student due to it’s “mix-it-with-anything” allure. Tequila (invariably the cheap stuff) occasionally showed up on my radar, but seemed to be consumed solely in shot form by those who considered a social occasion successful only if they awoke the next day sans pants. Brandy was unheard of, but there was a full-tilt schnapps craze in effect, so at any party you were guaranteed to see at least one brightly-colored bottle lurking among the offerings, waiting for it’s next victim (usually female, extroverted, and weighing far less than required for the amount she drank).

Family wasn’t much help either. My father was (and still is) a bourbon guy. My mother rarely drank, and when she did, her tastes ran to the occasional glass of wine, or if on a vacation, a Pina Colada. One grandmother never strayed far from red wine and Black Russians, and I don’t recall the other one’s preferences exactly, but I know they didn’t include gin.

And whenever I asked anyone about gin, I almost always got one of two responses:

#1 (If the person was under 40) “Eeeeyuck! I had that stuff once and it tasted like paint thinner!”

#2 (If the person was over 40) “I think your great-grandmother/father/aunt/uncle used to drink something with gin in it.”

I’d also occasionally get a vague reference to a character from a black-and-white movie. Or someone’s golfing buddy. It seemed that gin was exclusively the domain of classic cinema, the country club set, and the elderly.

Nonetheless, I soldiered on, evangelizing my favorite spirit and proudly brandishing my stubby glass filled with gin, tonic, ice and a plucky little lime wedge- A drink I felt was much, much more than the sum of its parts.

Between then and now I’ve discovered many more great gin drinks. And I’m glad to see that gin seems to finally be shaking off it’s reputation as a stodgy, obscure spirit perennially eclipsed by the other guys on the shelf. I’d like to think that the Gin & Tonic is playing a role somehow. I’m sentimental about the humble G&T; It was the drink that made me realize that hard liquor had more promise than just hastily splashed-together “2-for-1 night” specials and charmless pours in cobwebby clubs.

So rather than presenting a hard recipe, I encourage you to explore the Gin & Tonic on your own. Unlike when I first ran across gin, there is now a great selection of brands and styles. There are also some wonderful new tonics popping up here and there, so pick up a few and start experimenting. Find something you like. Make the Gin & Tonic your drink in some special way.

And if you discover that you really like fiddling with drink recipes to the point where you simply must tell someone about it…I hear there’s a bunch of people on the web who are really into this stuff.

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One last note: Since we’re talking about Blog Love, I’d be dropping the ball in a big way if I didn’t give a hearty shout to Rick over at Kaiser Penguin. KP was one of the first booze blogs I discovered, and I became a regular reader on the spot. Rick has an unerring intuition where good recipes are concerned, and his ability to communicate their subtleties is amazing. And anyone who has seen his site knows it goes without saying that his photos are superb. They make me want to climb through the screen to get at ‘em.

Other people must think so too- there’s a reason his site shows up on almost everybody’s links list.

Rick was also the one who first urged me to start my own booze blog, patiently answering my questions and providing an abundance of great tips & advice. Thanks for all the encouragement Rick! (By the way, I’m saving all my State Store receipts so you can reimburse me at your convenience).

UPDATE: Robert Hess joins the G&T discussion with a great piece over at The Spirit World.